Agents and editors are posting snippets of what makes a query fail. Searching Twitter using the #queryfail tag, you can see all of these tweets. This has been a very educational, if not funny, experience.
Here are some of the pass/fail, along with sage advice, query tweets (taken verbatim)
"dear editor, hello! I would like to thank you for taking the time to read the first 3 chapters..." Absolutely no need, seriously | fail |
"The purpose of this letter is not earth shaking, so, if it will be ignored, and I'm sure it will" Yeah. Now it will. | fail |
"Allow me the privilege of publishing it through your company, so I can be the best selling author I know I am meant to be." | fail |
The Artichoke and the Onion: A Love Story (in which artichoke peels away layers to reval its "secret hidden place inside") | fail |
Here are synopsis for fifteen completely different projects I've completed. I am currently working on these 5 additional novels. | fail |
Greetings from Sweden. We hardly have any agents. So I sent my query directly to the publisher. Book'll be out this spring. | fail |
"P.S. I collect stamps. Should you have any stamp... that is destined for the trash can, [please] stuff them in the enclosed SASE. | fail |
Page numbers, no. Chapter heading, no. ANY sort of header, no. #queryfail, yes | fail |
Dear XX Publishing, I guess I am unable to write a synposis that is short and reflects my manuscript so..." | fail |
"Have u ever lost yr partner in the fringes of a war u didn't approve of which subjecting him to an unsubstantiated war?" Grammar | fail |
I'M TYPING MY QUERY IN ALL CAPS SO YOU WILL BE SURE TO NOTICE IT. Okay, now that my pupils have stopped burning | fail |
"This is a very exciting narrative which relates how I was attacked by a whore house" Exciting in what sense? | fail |
"[TITLE redacted] contains sexually graphic descriptions, a violent rape scene [...] and mayhem. On the bright side..." No. | fail |
It is unnecessary (and $$$) to fed-ex queries, it ends up in the same stack. | advice |
"enclosed is a sample of my book XX. It is incomplete but there is enough for you to get an idea of the content." Errr.... | fail |
Creepy query = having your character send the query | fail |
My favorite query typo from past: She mustard her power | fail |
A classic: don't use a spokesperson, ok? Don't let your dad/lawyer/wife/brother query on your behalf | advice |
If your spam blocker has to authorize my response to your query, I probably won't resent - approve agent emails ahead of time | advice |
FedExing with signature required a query letter? | advice |
not using contractions in your character dialogue/narrative... (unless it's time period appropriate) | advice |
Don't send me your manuscript and tell me to start reading at page 312 because that's "where it gets good" | fail |
It isn't a #queryfail, but you should know that unnecessary pen names do make me wonder about you | advice |
These words are the kiss of death: "first book in a [multi]-book series | fail |
People, query one book at a time please | advice |
Handwritten query on scrap paper w/ eyeblass ad/7th bday party cloud paper/label peel saying "Sorry about the paper, we recycle" | fail |
You want to write a nonfiction book but you have no impressive credentials or platform? This is a huge issue, folks | advice |
Sentence fragments, which are not used for effect | fail |
"This novel is very similar to The Da Vinci Code but much more plausible and better written." | fail |
"I read about ur interest in poetry so Im querying U" Really? Where? You mean in my gidelines whre it says I dont accept poetry? | fail |
"I have covered my sexual exploits with literally hundreds of women, mostly exotic dancers" - sorry, yuck | fail |
Authors, PLEASE use a tracking system and don't query the same agent multiple times with an already-rejected book! | advice |
Writing back to my form rejection for me to recommend another agent at my 2 person agency. | advice |
Tight first paragraph, references, a recent relevant blog post of mine, awesome hook, good pages. Query WIN! | pass |
One line hook, wordcount, genre, short blurb, short paragraph of writing background and polite closing. Query win | pass |
tells me you read interview with me re: your genre, tells me what you learned from interview, & how your book is a fit. Win. | pass |
Top reasons I don't read further: overwriting, info dumping and starting the story in the wrong place (often relates to info dump) | advice |
If you'd like more information, please leave a comment and be sure to include a working email address (will not be published but necessary for a response.)
Happy query writing!
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